Spiders found on Bananas

World’s deadliest spiders nesting on my banana from Sainsbury’s: Family forced to spend three nights in hotel and have property fumigated after Brazilian species invaded their home.

-Pest control firm warned of possible infestation of the deadly spiders
– Consi Taylor saw the tiny spiders jump from the banana she was eating
– Their home had to be fumigated for three days while they stayed in hotel
– Supermarket initially offered the family a £10 voucher following discovery
– They have since paid £1,000 for hotel as well as cleaning and fumigation bills

Strawberries aren’t actually berries but Bananas are.

A strawberry is not an actual berry, but a banana is.

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Your not a berry. I'm a berry

It’s probably rare that you hear a banana, avocado, or pumpkin referred to as a berry, but the fact is they are. It seems like people generally consider a berry to be a small fruit that comes in bunches, but in reality there are several definitions for what people call berries.

There are drupes, which are fleshy fruit produced from a single seeded ovary with a hard stony layer, like peaches, plums, and cherries. Olives also fall into this category. There are pomes, which are fruits that have a structure that separates the seeds from the ovary tissue, like apples and pears. Some of the smaller pomes are also called berries sometimes.

There are aggregate fruits like the blackberry and raspberry, which are fruits that contain seeds from different ovaries of a single flower. There are multiple fruits, which are fruits that are made from multiple flowers packed together, like the mulberry. Lastly, there are accessory fruits, where the edible part is not generated by the ovary, which includes the strawberry.

So by these definitions, a strawberry is not a berry. A berry is simply a fruit that has seeds and pulp produced from a single ovary. In addition to those already said, this includes the blueberry, coffee berry, cranberry, gooseberry, grape, persimmon, and tomato.

By technical definition, a berry is a fleshy fruit produced from a single seed. The strawberry, however has its dry, yellow “seeds” on the outside (each of which is actually considered a separate fruit). True berries, such as blueberries and cranberries have seeds inside. However, the banana fruit is a berry for the same reason strawberries are not.

There is a theory that strawberries were named by 19th century children who picked the fruit, strung them on grass straws, and sold them as “Straws of berries”.

Bananas are evil

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Q: Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? A: Because they peel!

Q: What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
A: (sing to the tune of 5th symphony): Banana..na….! Banana..na….!

Q: What do you call two banana skins? A: A pair of slippers

Q: When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing?
A: What else but Peelings?

Q: Why did the banana go to see the doctor?
A: The banana was not peeling very well.

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date.

Q: What is the easiest way to make a banana split?
A: Cut it in half.

Q: If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ?
A: Slippers !

Q: How do you spell banana?
A: E, V, I, L.

Q: Do banana’s drink coke or pepsi?
A: Neither, they drink blood because they’re evil.

Q: How did the Iceland repel the bananas attack?
A: By freezing them

Q: What do bananas, Hitler, and Napoleon have in common?
A: Everything.

Q: Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm?
A: He kept throwing the bent bananas away.

Q: How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana?
A: She left him out in the sun too long.

Q: Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas?
A: They were empty.

Q: Why don’t bananas snore?
A: Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

Q: Why are you eating a banana with the skin on?
A: Oh, it’s all right. I know what’s inside.

Q: What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside?
A: A banana dressed up as a cucumber!
Q: What’s the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?
A: Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

Q: What would you call two banana skins?
A: A pair of slippers!

Q: What do you do if you see a blue banana?
A: Try to cheer it up.

Q: What’s yellow and writes?
A: A ball-point banana.

Q: What’s yellow and always points to the north?
A: A magnetic banana.

Q: What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz?
A: An electric banana.

Q: How do monkeys get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!

Q: What did the banana say to the monkey?
A: Nothing, bananas can’t talk!

Q: What kind of a key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!

Q: Why did the monkey like the banana? A: Because it had appeal!

Q: How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana?
A: Try picking it up. If you can’t, it’s either a monster or a giant banana.

Q: Why are bananas never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.

Q: How do you catch King Kong?
A: Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

Q: Why do banana’s do so well on the dating scene?
A: Because they have Appeal!

Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet.
Andy: Did she lose weight?
Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/foodjokes/bananajokes.html